Revising Writing By Nazanin ( Edited Piece of Writing )

My Edited Piece of Writing
 On Saturday I was at my Papa's, Aunt’s and Uncle’s house getting ready for Halloween. When I saw my Papa he was dressed up as a Spooky Zombie. I was so frightened when I saw my Papa. I was dressed up as a Purple Bat. I was ready for Halloween. My Papa and I were going around the houses asking for lollies. When I went to the house it was very black and very spooky.

My Papa got scared. I told him don’t worry It's just a house full of decorations. There were Spiderwebs, bats, and witches decorations. I knocked on the door and out came a ghost Man and a lady they gave us sweets it was yummy. I said to them next I want to go down to another house. It wasn't spooky at all. The house only had spiders and a black Witch’s broom. 

I knocked on the door and out came a black witch. The lady gave us some Chocolates and Candies. When we stopped at Kings Road we saw my friend Zara and her Dad Babu. They were going Trick or Treating for yummy treats. Me and My Papa were walking to Zara we asked if we could come with you to go trick or treat. They said yes then we stopped to go down to the cafe. We had Hot Chocolate and Strawberry Cupcakes. 

Then we went down to Coates Crescent. To go to other houses for Trick or Treat. When we saw another house that was even scarier. I said happy Trick or Treat to them and a Spider came out. The Man gave us some lollies and Chocolates it was fun at Trick or Treat. Then it was time to go home I said bye to my friend Zara and went home to eat all the goodies .
Yesterday and Today I have been working with Avalon. We had to read over a simple piece of writing. Avalon and I had to make changes as the original piece. We had to fix mistakes like capital letters, Put  full stops, punctuation marks.